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Moments, Day 10: Rethinking “Interesting”

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I’m not sure at what age I began to have this thought, but I clearly recall thinking that whatever career I landed on, I wanted to be able to say “I am a _________” rather than having to say “I work at _________.” I didn’t even really have a clue what I would even fill in that blank with, but I was fixed on the idea that when someone asked the obligatory polite, just-met-you type of questions like “So, what do you do?” I knew I wanted to be able to respond by saying “I’m a teacher/a photographer/ a chef/ a writer/ an artist/ a secretary” or whatever the situation was. I just hated when someone asked that and I heard someone else reply by saying “I work at…a bank/ Macy’s/ Giant Eagle/ the BMV” etc…. Not that I had or do have anything against any of those places (except maybe the BMV…I mean, seriously!) or any of the people who actually do work there or the thousands of places like those. I just felt like if I grew up to “just” work at a fill-in-the-blank place, then I would never have really found my place in the world. I would never have found what I was  supposed to be. I wanted to be something. I wanted my life to be meaningful. I wanted it to be interesting. Let’s be real…I wanted to be interesting.

This week I read this article by an author who is always inspiring to me. He mentioned that someone had shared this quote with him:

If you are interesting, people will like you, If you are interested, people will love you.

Did you catch that? Now I’m a little slow, so I had to read it a few times and really think about what it meant. The rest of the article definitely helps get the idea, so give it a read if you have a second.

Now, I have a career that allows me to say I am a teacher. I’ve been one now for over 5 years and I love it. It really is a meaningful career, I have fun at it, and it challenges me at every turn. I have lots of stories that I never would have had if that wasn’t my career. It sure is interesting, alright! When I was growing up, I couldn’t wait to be something, And now I am that something that I always dreamed of being. It does feel nice, knowing that I have a career that has the potential to change the lives of the little ones I’m around every day. I am proud of what I do, even when I do it imperfectly (which is pretty much every day!) In addition to all that, I have a wonderful marriage, way more amazing friends than I can count on all 10 fingers (which kind of surprises me to tell the truth, because I think I’m pretty obnoxious!) and have varied hobbies and pursuits that never leave me with a lack of conversation topics. And to top it all off, I now have a relationship with the God of the universe that blows my mind on a daily basis. Pretty interesting life, I’d say. I

But I’m kinda starting to be over being interesting. I think  I would much rather like to be interested.  

The truth is, that wonderful career and wonderful husband and great friends and diverse list of pursuits sometimes leave me with little room to be too interested in others. I find myself most often doing a balancing act with the things I have allowed to be put on my plate rather than keeping just  the most essential things in order, and leaving lots of free time to invest in other people and really show them that I’m interested in their lives. I find myself forgetting people’s names too often and having rushed conversations rather than just being with them. Worst of all, I find myself talking about myself more than almost anything else…and that is a sure sign of feeling  interesting, and definitely not showing that I’m interested. I hate admitting that, but it’s there nonetheless.

So I’m rethinking being interesting. My interesting career has almost pushed being interested into a corner. Yes, it’s important. Yes, I’m good at it. But is it worth not having time to be interested and invested  in others??  

 

Cold Turkey Detox Day

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I’ve been dying to get to this keyboard and write for the past week, but I’ve been working about 6 million hours a day so that hasn’t left much room for me to actually have a life. As usual. But that’s about to change.

Today marks an important day for me. One that my husband and I have planned and discussed for quite some time. Earlier this year, we had [yet another] conversation about my severe workaholism that turns on with each new school year. Ever since I’ve been a teacher, I’ve had this problem of working way many hours, to the point of excluding and neglecting  much of everything else in my life including my husband, my health, my home, my family, my friends, my hobbies, and worst of all, my relationship with God. I worked so hard to become a teacher because I wanted a career that I loved as much as the rest of my life. I thought I’d attained that. But in truth, what I’ve actually done is become nothing but a teacher. My whole personality (and even maybe my identity–I’m still figuring that one out) has become wrapped up in my career.

I’ve tried many different ways of making this more bearable over the years, but nothing worked because I never just decided I wasn’t going to be this way and did something serious about it. Until now. My husband is 100% hard-core about something when he makes a decision. JUST DO IT is definitely a motto he rolls with. So, I’m taking his guidance and I’m quitting cold-turkey. ( Not teaching, you goofs!) I’m quitting my workaholism. Cold. Turkey. TODAY.

We set the date of October 1st to start my detox from working like crazy…after which I will no longer allow myself to voluntarily stay at school past 5pm (with the exception of one “late night” each week which will be the same night Todd has another committment until 8pm) and I won’t be bringing home any work in the evening or on weekends.

GULP…

So, even though I’m excited about it, because I will actually have a life (!) I am also very very nervous. I have lived so out of balance in this way for so long, I’m not sure what to do to make it go well. I’ve thought about it, talked about it, prayed about it, and I still just seriously cannot see how I’ll physically be able to be the teacher I want to be without at the same time working at least as much as I already do right now. Which is probably why I just need to stop allowing myself to be out of balance, and just figure out how to cope with the fallout later. I know that there is a way to make it happen, I just can’t see it yet. Lord, help me!

So would you please pray for me? Even though I am having a mini freak-out realizing what a big deal this will be for me, I know in reality that my priorities really are out of whack, and that speaks more about me than just saying I’m a little bit of a workaholic. My life is made up of so much more than just my career–even as important as it is–and I need to remember what those so much more parts actually are. I’m praying for wisdom, for God to show me what’s on my plate that needs to be moved, changed, reduced, or kicked off completely. Interestingly enough, I’ve already had 2 different but very obvious attacks on this new goal that have come up in the past 2 days… I was giddy when I realized it, because that means I’m right on track with making this change. 🙂

I’ll be writing about how things are going along the way (duh) whether it’s good, bad, or ugly. Thank you in advance for your prayers and for kicking me in the boo-tay whenever I need it. Keep reminding me of what’s most important.

I’m looking forward to getting my eyes back on the One who matters.

Good advice

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I’m always amazed at how incredibly gracious God is to us messed up ragamuffins, especially to me. . You poor folks who actually read this thing…I didn’t mean to worry you too much. I know how squirmy you people who love me can get when I have a little huge freak-out and start writing posts like this and I’m not my perky self. I understand how you worry about me because my moods swing from one end of crazy to the other, and with serious quickness. It’s really happened too many times this year. I’m chalking it up to my terribly short memory. You know, the one that always seems to forget somehow that God is completely in control of my everything and that usually when I’m freaked out it’s because I haven’t spent enough time with Him and my eyes are looking in another direction. Yeah, that short memory.

I want to thank you for your prayers…many of you mentioned that you had been praying for me, and I certainly did need it. Several of you sent me messages with encouraging words, telling me what you have experienced in times similar to this, when everything just seemed too…well, too everything. Like things were spinning out of control and you felt imbalanced and unsure of the next step. Thank you for all of that encouragement. What did I ever do to deserve friends like the ones I have? *sigh*

So as you know, all this craziness has been brought on by my workaholic personality. I’ve known about it for a long time, but in the last couple of years I’ve really been thinking about how to make it better. I haven’t exactly figured out the root cause, but it seems as if it is likely several things all together. God’s still showing me all that. But this week, Todd asked me to read a part of a book he’s reading (The Christian Atheist-I read the first few chapters then he hijacked it and I hadn’t finished yet!) because he said that it reminded him of me and my current situation. The author relates his own struggle with being a workaholic, and the process he went through to change. But this part was at the beginning of his real journey, about him basically telling his counselor, after much probing and prodding,  that he didn’t feel like he would change because this was just who he was. The counselor leaned over to him and said something like “So, basically, you’re saying that our God isn’t big enough to change you?”

THAT was his turning point. When he admitted that he really was telling God “You can’t handle this job,” that made a world of difference for him. I mean, who says that to God? Who ever could? Obviously He can handle anything.

Okay, that’s great…but I didn’t think that really related to me specifically because I wasn’t telling God that I couldn’t change. I have been telling Him for a long time that I needed Him to show me what the deal was so I could figure out how to fix it. Right there was my first hint,  but I didn’t really get it until later in the weekend.

Fast-forward to Saturday morning. I woke up, so happy that I could just reach over and grab a book and read in bed for a while before ever having to get up to do anything. I grabbed a couple of books (nerd alert!) and my bible.  I started praying and thanking God for an awesome morning, and asking Him to speak to me. I did that thing that I do sometimes where I ask God to speak to me through His word and I just let my bible fall open, then I read whatever catches my eye on that page. It’s not rocket science, I know. Maybe you have a better way, but I know He has been faithful to speak to me many times like that. I may be random, but He isn’t.

This time, it fell open to Psalm 107, which starts out: Shout praises to the LORD!   He is good to us, and his love never fails. Everyone the LORD has rescued  from trouble should praise him… Alright. Check. Moving on…

Then it starts explaining all these different types of people and the situations they’ve gotten themselves into, and how when they finally cried out to Him, he rescued them from their circumstances and restored them back to an even better place than when they’d started out. It talked about people who were homeless wanderers, hungry and thirsty, depressed, imprisoned, distressed, foolish, rebellious, enslaved, sinful, physically ill, sailing on high seas, discouraged, etc… Do you see yourself yet? I didn’t. Not until I read the verses again, and in 10-16, I saw my face:

Some of you were prisoners  suffering in deepest darkness  and bound by chains,

    because you had rebelled  against God Most High  and refused his advice.

    You were worn out  from working like slaves,  and no one came to help.

    You were in serious trouble,  but you prayed to the LORD,  and he rescued you.

    He brought you out  of the deepest darkness  and broke your chains.

    You should praise the LORD  for his love  and for the wonderful things  he does for all of us.

    He breaks down bronze gates  and shatters iron locks.

Whoa… that’s me. I’ve been worn out from working like a slave. No one was helping me, or even able to. I was bound by my own self-made chains, suffering  with self-scorn and spiraling into a funky depression. So…all I had to do was pray to God? Well that’s weird because that’s what I have been doing and nothing is getting better.  But then my eyes fell back on to that part about refusing His advice. Then the part about calling on Him and He would rescue me.

You see it?? All this time, here I was thinking that I had called on God, but all I had really been doing was talking at Him. Remember what I said? I had been telling Him to show ME what the problem was so I could figure out how to fix it. Never once had I called on Him to fix it all for me…to swoop in and rescue me from this latest ridiculousness that I’d created for myself. Never once had I just turned it over to Him and said God, unless you come through for me on this and fix it for me, I’m not gonna make it.

So there it is, all back to trust and obedience. I saw Him just sitting back and shaking His head, with a grin on His face that said finally, you’re hearing Me. That was the key all along…not thinking that I was going to figure out a way to fix all this junk, not that I ever could have, but trusting Him to fix it for me, and to become a little more like His Son along the way somehow.

The coolest part was later when I was meditating on these verses and I couldn’t stop thinking about that word advice. That was the part that I was stuck on…okay, God, what specifically is this advice of yours that I haven’t heeded? I really sensed Him tell me that I’d find out soon enough. So I went about my morning, getting ready to just enjoy an entire day doing nothing related to work, but just loving the beautiful weather (this is my favorite time of year!) and visiting with family and spending time with the delicious man that He made for me. I was nearly giddy just thinking about it. While I was brushing my teeth, I decided to go check the Bible Gateway verse of the day on my phone, which I frequently do as a way to kick-off my day. It said simply:

Do as God does. After all, you are his dear children -Ephesians 5:1

Thank you, Abba. That’s good advice. I AM your child. I don’t need to worry about anything else.

Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.

A Week’s Worth of Accusation

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How about we have a little share time, shall we?

Here’s a list of some of the things I’ve heard being said to me this week:

  • You’re too much to deal with.
  • No one takes you seriously.
  • Why bother? You’re just going to go back to the same old crap.
  • No one really even knows you
  • Why would anyone care what you have to say?
  • Wait until they all find out you don’t really know what the hell you’re talking about.
  • You’re never going to be anything other than some fat chick.
  • You can’t do anything right.
  • Apparently the only thing you know how to do right is to eat.
  • You talk too much.
  • No one cares about your issues.
  • You’re not even a good friend.
  • You always expect too much.
  • You will always be let down.
  • Why are you such a fake?
  • You’re so embarrassing.
  • If you were more [fill in the blank with 100 different things] that wouldn’t be a problem.
  • You bring this all on yourself
  • You should feel sorry for yourself
  • Your husband isn’t interested in what you have to say. No one is, remember?
  • No one really notices you or cares to.
  • Failure is all you have going on.
  • Why do you have to be so needy all the time?
  • You are such a freakin’ loser.
  • You’re ridiculous, thinking some God cares about your issues.
  • If you really believed in that anyway, wouldn’t you be a little better by now?
  • You’ve always screw everything up.
  • Can’t you do just one thing right?
  • Get yourself together.
  • What is wrong with you?
  • Why do you always have to say something?
  • Just keep your mouth shut, no one wants to hear it
  • You’re a joke
  • You’re never going to be good enough
  • You haven’t changed a bit.

Here are some other (more pleasant!) things that were also said to me this week:

  • I love you
  • You’re the bomb
  • You’re an awesome teacher
  • You’re beautiful

Now these two lists are actual things that went through my mind this week. Some were literally said to me out loud. Most were things that I heard in my own mind. I don’t share these thoughts so everyone can be like “oh, don’t worry, none of that is true” or anything like that. In fact, I’m not trying to have a pity party at all. I had been trying to earlier this week, but quite frankly right now I am just pissed off.

You see, it dawned on me yesterday that these things have been rolling around in my mind all week. I mean, everyone thinks a negative thought about themselves every now and then, but I have literally been bombarded with negative, self-loathing whispers in my ears all day and night since I woke up Monday morning. I began just thinking I was “in a funk” like I occasionally get in to. Just one of those “off”  kind of days. But then the next day and the next day were the same and it just seems to be getting worse.

What is the deal!?

Today it clicked. When I was again hearing the 556,345,234,0293  things about myself that were hideous and awful, I reminded myself to stop and just try to think of all the positive things that had been said to me this week. The 4 listed above were truly all I could recall.

I am not a miserable, unhappy person. In fact, I am one of the happiest, upbeat folks I know. My life is pretty great, actually. I have a wonderful husband, a job that I love and I’m excited to start up again soon, we don’t want for anything, I have wonderful friends who I love spending time with, a church I am proud to be a part of and I get to live the rest of my life as a new creation because of my relationship with God. So..seriously, why would I be hearing all of these loathesome things about myself?? I don’t worry much but I was starting to…Why am I hearing/thinking all these things about myself? Are they true?  Do I just think I am happy? Am I really unhappy deep down and these things are starting to come to the surface? I had a momentary thought to that effect, but then quickly shook that off started to get mad because I saw it. I saw that ugliness for what it really was.

Accusation.

I already know that the enemy of God –my enemy– is like a lion prowling around, seeking whom he may devour. How does he try to devour me? With accusation. With lies. He is the father of all lies and just as God can only speak truth because He is Truth, our enemy can only speak lies because he in himself is nothing but deceit. That’s a sad existence. No wonder he wants to beat us down with lies…to make us just as miserable as He is.

So, I began to do what I know we need to do to overcome our accuser:

 For the accuser of our brothers and sisters
      has been thrown down to earth—
   the one who accuses them
      before our God day and night.
  And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb
      and by their testimony. -Revelation 12:10-11

I started to say out loud all the facts that I know about myself…that I am a new creation in Christ Jesus, that the old things have passed away, and the new has come about….that I am now called a child of God and I’ve been adopted into His family and He gives me my identity. I started to combat those nasty lies with the truth… spoken out loud, and in-his-face with an attitude that I know I can afford to have because the God of all creation literally has my back.

But as soon as that flood of words began, I realized that they were being used more for my own self-comfort than they were for weaponry this time. There is something to speaking truth aloud, don’t get me wrong…it is powerful. Many things have been conquered by the Word. But when scripture says to us that “they [all of my brothers and sisters] have defeated him [the accuser] by the blood of the Lamb  and by their testimony,” That means it has already been done. That means that they have defeated the accuser simply by having the blood of the lamb (their covering in Jesus) upon them. They have defeated the accuser simply by their testimony…by the life they now life in Christ, imperfect but new, and being made more like Him every day.

Just by us being one of the brothers or sisters of Jesus, we can be sure our accuser is already defeated. So even though I felt like a big fat failure this week…even though last night I went to bed feeling sure that somehow I had let a friend down… even though I see myself not being the best version of me I could be… the fact is that I have already defeated the accuser who keeps coming at me with false accusations, or by taking the true not-so-great moments in my life and twisting them to sound like they are actually who I am rather than just some dumb stuff I’ve momentarily done. I just need to remember that I have already defeated the accuser, even if he does stand day and night ready to continue accusing me.

“You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”  -1 John 4:4

I know who I am. And I know Who is in me.

Are You SURE You Want My Advice?

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If there’s one piece of scripture I know well, it would be Jesus’s words in Matthew 18:15-17:

“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”

My husband always says that I have a sign on my forehead that is invisible to me, but that is apparently a bright neon sign to everyone else, and it says “Free Counselor.” We joke about this because throughout my whole life, even when I was fairly young, people would just for some reason pour out their problems to me. They would tell me things about themselves that were very personal even if I had only known them for a short time. Many times they would ask my advice about a situation which almost always seemed to have something to do with a relationship problem they were having. This still happens on a regular basis today.

Early on in my life, I used to get annoyed by this, thinking why is this person telling me all this stuff? How am I supposed to know what to do? Since I’ve become a follower of Christ, I’ve come to understand and appreciate that this is part of my distinct make-up…I’ve learned that my primary spiritual gift seems to be exhortation, better known as the gift of encouragement. Now this is nothing for me to boast about, and in fact I used to be very uncomfortable with any talk of my spiritual gifts simply because it sounded a little snotty to me… like I’m bragging about something I’ve acquired. But I’m much more comfortable with my own identity in Christ these days, and I’ve come to really believe how God defines us through His apostle Paul:

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” -Ephesians 2:10

I believe what God says about who I am. I know that He created me, and He made me to do good works, which He’s already prepared for me to do. It’s like I have my own personal “to-do” list written by the Creator of the universe, and no one else can check those things off except for me. But in order for me to accomplish this, I must live my life in a way that aligns with the things God says about me and the ways He’s shown me to live. Part of that means accepting, embracing and using my spiritual gifts in the way He wants me to. So, I do what I can to learn His ways of how to encourage others, not because it’s fun (although sometimes it can be!) but because this is part of my DNA.

So, back to Matthew 18. What does this have to do with any of this encouragement stuff? Well, it’s very simple. Humans are made in and for relationships. When a relationship is broken, whether it’s because of something we have done, something another person has done, or just because of strange circumstances, our heart hurts. Our deepest desire is to have that relationship restored. And there’s great news…God has told us many things in His word on how to make that happen. The passage in Matthew 18:15-17 tells us how to deal with a brother or sister in Christ who has sinned. Many times this may be against us directly, other times it may be that we’ve noticed a sin pattern growing in their lives that is going unchecked. Either way, there is a 3-step process involved in confronting them, and no… it doesn’t involve airing their dirty laundry on Facebook. Many times friends or acquaintances will come to me asking advice with this exact kind of situation. Someone has done something to them that is offensive. Someone has lied to them and they’ve found out. Their spouse is doing something inappropriate. My advice to them will always be exactly the same. I wouldn’t be encouraging them properly by doing anything but going back to God’s word.

Look back at the first part of that passage in Matthew 18 with me: “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.” Did you see that? Go privately to that person. Is that what we usually do? I don’t know about you, but when someone offends me, the first thing I want to do is call up another person who will sympathize with my sense of injustice and complain about it. For hours. But that is SO WRONG. No one should hear about the problem until you have addressed it with the person committing the offense. No one. Not your mom, your best friend, your sister, even your spouse. Go PRIVATELY to that person and talk to them. Is that so you can berate them about their sin and yell at them for how terrible they’ve been treating them? No. Look at the rest of that first step: “If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.” See it? The goal is to win that person back. To restore that relationship back to where it was. Another translation says “…you have your brother back again.” Isn’t that awesome? The goal is to point out the offense so that the person may be reconciled, not only to you, but to God. Because if we recognize our sin and confess it, the bible tells us that “he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) That’s great news! So by obeying this first step in the process, we could actually win over our brother or sister, and not only allow our relationship to be restored, but also to clear a pathway for them to confess the sin and be reconciled to God, which is of course the most important thing. If that doesn’t work, and the person refuses to recognize the sin or doesn’t take you seriously, then the next step is to confide in another trusted brother or sister (one or two others–not the entire universe!) and have them go with you to the person again. Perhaps once the offender sees that other people know of the situation and agree that there is a problem, this will help them see the light and lead to reconciliation. If the person still will not listen to reason, then it may be time to “take them before the church.” Now there are different beliefs about this, but I think this would mean talking to a pastor or elder of the church to explain the situation and likely even setting up a meeting between you, the offender, and a church leader to discuss the situation all together. Since my husband is an elder in our church, there have been occasions when I have been involved in these conversations at that level. Yes, they are uncomfortable. Yes, they can get frustrating for all parties involved. But I always go back to the fact that if I believe one part of God’s word, such as what He says about me being His workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works that He’s prepared for me to do, then I have to also believe His word when He tells me how to deal with situations in my life, even if the process is uncomfortable. I can’t just pick and choose the warm-fuzzy-feeling stuff that Jesus tells us and not also accept His more difficult teachings.

So, if you’re one of those folks who can mysteriously see that invisible sign on my forehead that says “Free Counselor,” or you just happen to bring it up in conversation, my response to you will be the same when you ask my advice on how to deal with someone who’s sinned or hurt you. I will go back to what Jesus said to do in Matthew 18. I will tell you to do something that you might feel is uncomfortable. I won’t care if you feel uncomfortable because you have to do the things Jesus tells us to do if you are one of His followers…no ifs, ands, or buts. I will likely tell you to read through that passage several times. I might even suggest you read through it in several translations until you’re sure you have a full understanding of what it means. I will tell you to follow the steps in order. I will tell you if you’ve skipped a step. I will tell you to go back to the beginning if you’ve skipped a step. I’ll ask you not to speak to me (or anyone else) again about it until you’ve at least done step #1. You might take me off your Christmas list because I didn’t give you the answer or easy fix you wanted. And I will not enjoy that because I truly do love presents. But even so, I can’t direct you with poor advice. With non-biblical advice. With advice that will lead you into destroying a relationship rather than restoring it. I will tell you that if you refuse to follow these steps to deal with the situation, you are in yourself committing a sin (refusing to do what God says) and making things worse. But I will also pray for you and for the relationship you’re trying to restore.

If you ever come to me to ask my advice about how to deal with someone who has sinned or hurt you, and I don’t lead you to Matthew 18… you do have my permission to call me out on it. Please. You’re not doing me any favors if you don’t.

The Image We Bear

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Today while I was looking through some fo the dusty books on my very loved bookshelf, I came across a note that my husband had jotted down for me inside the cover of the book Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. He was re-writing a quote directly from the book (page 37 to be exact) which was speaking in general about the way in which we as humans bear the image of God. Specifically, this passage was speaking of how women and men bear different characteristics of God’s glory, and for that reason, we are different. This quote, very specifically, was speaking of how women in particular reflect the tenderness and beautiful mystery of our Creator. Here is my husband’s note to me… one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever received:

Just as Eve, you were created in the image of God, embodying the beauty, mystery, and tender vulnerability of God.

Commence with the chills and sighs. What a man. What a beautiful truth about myself, given to me from my husband, through this author, from the Creator of the Universe who wanted me to know who I really am and what I’m worth. Its beautiful. Ladies and gents, if we really knew who we were and what our Creator made us each to be, how would we approach life differently? Would women stop attempting to control their husbands? Would men stop looking for their self worth in their paychecks and bonuses? Would women stop looking in the mirror and berating themselves based on the lies they see about who they should be from the TV and from the latest Cosmo? Would men stop being afraid to fail and instead lead their families into developing rich, meaningful spiritual legacies?

My husband is brave enough to give me these reminders of who I was made to be. But will I be brave enough to accept them, breathe them in, and live them out in my daily life so I can bear the image of God in the way I was created to?