This week has been a lesson on verbs. You remember those things that you learned about in 2nd grade? (at least you would have if you had been in my class.) Verbs are action words… the parts of speech that show motion, action, being, doing. They never just describe other things. They never just sit there and add to something else that’s going on around them. They’re never idle, and they’re not accidental. They are purposeful. They do.
Seems that I’ve been verbing an awful lot this week. crying. seeking. asking. loving. hating. understanding. reaching. begging. yelling. punching. breaking. retreating. battling. compromising. convincing. praying. honoring. wondering. worrying. losing. giving. giving up. overcoming. defeating. forgetting. forgiving. reminding. agreeing. resting.
Some of these actions were a lot easier than others. Many were very, very difficult. But no matter what verb I’m putting into practice, I can’t forget that God is constantly being and doing more than I could ever see or imagine on my behalf. The truth is that I don’t understand what the heck is going on around me right now. Injustice is rearing its ugly head around every corner. Fairness and decency have apparently jumped out the window. Cooperation and doing what’s best have become foreign terms these days. Love is being touted as a feeling rather than as an action that is chosen. I wonder when all the drama will be over.
But in all this, I was reminded today that no matter what, God is always doing on my behalf. I listened to the song Sing Over Me by Bethany Dillon today, which in many ways has become my “go to” song when things are rough. (If you haven’t heard it, do yourself a favor and check it out on iTunes or the link to YouTube) I remember one time, a couple of years back, sitting in a waiting room after being told that I would need to have a mammogram to double check a strange lump that I’d spoken to my doctor about earlier that week. He’d assured me it was probably nothing but referred me just to be safe. Now the specialists weren’t as sure. So there I was, 32 and sitting in the waiting room of the clinic, wrapped in a hideous robe and singing softly to myself over and over:…Whatever should come against me…teach me to be still…This week has been a little like that waiting room….wondering what would happen, being frustrated at the helplessness I’ve felt, unable to correct a situation that could change everything. My control-freaky-ness was working overtime. But in everything, I remembered where to turn…what to ask for. Sing over me, God, quiet me with Your love. Draw me close so I can rest, teach me to be still no matter what’s happening around me or to me.
The weirdest part? I am calm now. I am resting. It doesn’t even make sense. I should be freaking out and worrying and wondering some more…but now that I’ve remembered where to go and what to ask, I’m actually hearing that song He’s singing over me. The Lord is my refuge and my strength. Of whom shall I be afraid? He will be with me wherever I go. He is the way, the truth, the life. He knows the plans He has for me. What has been meant for evil, He will turn into good. GOOD. He is mighty…He will save.
I live in the wonder of Your love
You rise like the sun in my heart
Even when the night draws near to me
There You are
I will wade in the water of mercy
I will walk in the light of Your will
Whatever should come against me
Teach me to be still
As you sing over me
Draw me close to rest in Your peace
Sing over me
Sing of Your unending faithfulness
That knows no doubt or fear
In the face of all that I don’t know yet
Remind me of who You are
You are mighty
You will save
Rejoice over me with singing
You will quiet
By Your love
Glory over me with singing